There is a lot I am not saying out loud.
Pale blue colored eyes
I can’t shake the feeling that I’ve monumentally screwed up.
I often wonder why things, relationships, life, just always seem to not work out for me. If I try at any level, it fails. Does it stop me from trying? No, I’m not derailed. But I’m coming more and more aware that I’ve been put in this life to be the anti-human. I’m the bad example that everyone should look at. Not a pity party, just call me Ghost Rider of social awkwardness. I hope this changes eventually, pray this changes eventually. Please change.
I live in a vast endless sea of knowledge. Anything I want or need to know, I can find out, so I lay in a glazed over stare of an insomniac the things I know and can relay to others to be true, I don’t believe. I’m at the peak of my young adulthood, there is so much left to achieve, yet I sit here and allow myself to become something I shouldn’t be, relying on experiences I know will fall through. Is it possible for my mind to comprehend truths and rise above them? Or am I just destined to sit here wishing I had believed in myself more. Regardless of the fact, I need rest, just a mind rest, and possibly a rest from technology, and pretend I can put myself on the right basic path, without a voice other than my own.
Nothing personal, but I’m kicking your ass before you kick mine.
I need to tumbl more, sans falling irl.
I can deal with the things I need to learn about trades and philosophies, but i don’t dig being socially retarded.